The best validated rating scale used to measure the severity of stress places death of a spouse at the top with a value of 100, followed by loss of other important relationships like divorce (73), marital separation (65), and going to jail and death of a family member (63). Getting a traffic ticket (14) is at the bottom of this list of some 43 other stressful events. Stress levels are determined by adding up the total of how many of these have been experienced over the previous 12 months.

Thousands of scientific studies have confirmed that the higher the score, the greater the likelihood that you will become sick during the next six to twelve months. Widowed individuals die at rates three to twelve times higher for all the leading causes of death whithin a year or two following the loss of their mate than married controls.

Cardiac deaths are especially high during the first six months of bereavement. A greater risk for heart attacks has also been demonstrated for a variety of other stressful emotions, including depression, anxiety, fright, hostility, and anger, especially when you keep your anger suppressed.

We “take things to heart” not only
figuratively, but literally

Sudden death, which is the leading cause of death in the world, is very frequently associated with an outpouring of stress related hormones that cause serious disturbances in heart rhythm that can be fatal, even in young, healthy people.

Such “fight or flight” responses to stress have been exquisitely honed over the lengthy course of man’s evolution as life saving measures. Under severe stress, heart rate and blood pressure soar, blood sugar rises to furnish fuel for energy, blood is shunted away from the gut where it is not immediately needed for purposes of digestion to the large muscles of the arms and legs, to provide more strength in combat, or greater speed in getting away from a scene of potential peril.

The blood clots more quickly to prevent loss from hemorrhage, our pupils dilate to improve the range of vision, and a multitude of other reactions over which we have no control are immediately and automatically evoked.

All of these would have been useful, if not life saving, in helping primitive man to deal with sudden threats that demanded immediate fight or flight. However, the nature of stress for modern man is not an occasional physical confrontation with a saber-toothed tiger or a hostile warrior, but rather a host of emotional threats, like getting stuck in traffic, fights with customers, co-workers, or family, that can occur several times a day. Unfortunately, our bodies still react with these same, archaic, stereotyped responses, that are now not only not useful, but damaging and deadly.

Repeatedly invoked it is not hard to see how they could cause heart attacks, hypertension, strokes, ulcers, muscle spasms, and other “Diseases of Civilization”.

It is important to recognize that
stress is not always necessarily bad.

Winning a race or election can just be as stressful as losing, or more so.
A passionate kiss and anticipating what might follow is stressful, but hardly likely to be accompanied by the same psychophysiologic responses as having root canal surgery. Increased stress also increases productivity – up to a point, after which things deteriorate.

It’s equally important to emphasize that this level differs for each of us. It’s very much like the tension or stress on a violin string. Not enough results in a raspy, grating noise, but too much produces a shrill note that is irritating, or breaks the string. However, just the right amount of stress creates melodic and harmonious tones. Similarly, we all have to find the optimal amount of stress that allows us to make pleasing music in our daily lives, rather causing us to snap.

Just as stress is different for all of us, no stress reduction strategy works for everyone. Jogging, meditation, yoga, deep breathing or progressive muscular relaxation exercises are great for some individuals. However, when arbitrarily imposed on others, they can be boring and stressful.